5 Things I’d Love To Tell My American Egg Donor
20th April 2017
At the age of 36, Niamh Mulhall started trying for her first child. After failed rounds of IVF, she was told she would need to use an egg donor. “For me it was a time of loss and grief. I knew no one in a similar situation and felt alone.” She tried two cycles of donor egg in Spain and two rounds in Greece, transferring a total of 18 embryos and was still childless. Five years had passed in a haze of disappointments. Niamh then learned of the collaboration between Shady Grove Fertility and Cork Fertility Centre and decided to travel to America for donor egg treatment, especially for the Shared Risk 100% Refund Programme and locally recruited, pre-screened egg donor database.
Niamh became the SGF Irish Patient Liaison to offer hope to people on their infertility road, as she knows how tough the journey can be. As the proud mum to a sweet 4 year-old-boy, Niamh decided to write an open letter to her American egg donor. The letter was first published by Katie Mythen-Lynch on HerFamily.ie, but has gone viral on the web for its deep truth and raw emotion.
Niamh wanted to share her open letter to her egg donor with the Shady Grove Fertility community as well.
Dear donor,
- Thank you, a million, million, million times for giving him, and us, life. Thank you for the better life we have being his parents. Thank you for allowing for us to be Santa, have birthday parties, and be called ‘mom and dad’. Thank you for the opportunity to see life through the eyes of our child; the hugs, the love, the chaos, the crisis over a missing toy and the messy car… we love it all. Honestly, we couldn’t love and cherish him any more than we do. We are proud to be his parents.
- We have told him the story of his conception. It is something that he can tell himself now. It goes like this ‘To make a beautiful little boy like me, you need a mommy bit and a daddy bit. But the mommy bit wasn’t working very well. So mom and dad went all the way to America where a very kind lady gave the mommy bit to mix with the daddy bit and made me! She was a very kind lady’.
- He is happy, confident and healthy. He loves everything about life — his friends, school, swimming, music, and Lego. He hates mushrooms! He is curious about the world and loves going places. He wants to be a farmer, Lego builder, teacher, pilot, priest (because he wants to be able to tell people when to sit down and stand up) and a dad when he grows up.
- He has your beautiful big eyes, nose and wide open smile. People comment on the beauty and truth in his eyes frequently.
- I hope the sun, moon and stars have aligned for you and your family and given you as much joy in your life as you have given to ours.
From your donor egg recipient.
To learn more about the Shady Grove Fertility International Donor Egg Programme, call 0208 003 0827 or email Amanda Segal, our International Patient Liaison.